The Power Living in Your Failures

When we truly own our failures — when we make them ours and allow ourselves to fully feel them — we reclaim the life force energy stored within the experience. Instead of resisting or rejecting what happened, we let it integrate. We integrate the shame that came with it & flip the experience on its head - so that it counts to our advantage. 

This beautifully demonstrated by Salma Hayek in this short video clip, where she reflects on failure and ownership. Watch here on YouTube *Video clip credit: Salma Hayek / YouTube Shorts

When we say, “This is my failure — and mine alone,” and truly take the responsibility for it, we claim the experience as our own. In doing so, the failure becomes a lesson, an initiation — an opportunity to derive value and wisdom. As it integrates, it deepens our power, much like the roots of a tree growing stronger beneath the surface.

Why Owning Failure Releases Shame

Shame arises when we try to hide something — regardless of whether it’s perceived as bad, attractive or undesirable. The moment we stop hiding and fully own the experience, shame begins to dissolve.

When we own our failure & make it ours, we release the shame that can exist within. Shifting the energy of it. The body goes into a higher vibrational frequency - this means simply that you naturally feel physically & emotionally stronger, more capable and orientated towards seeing a positive outcome. 

Often, the sting of the failure softens. If it was significant failure, this can lessen its intensity. People also tend to respond very differently when a mistake is owned rather than concealed. Neither approach is inherently right or wrong — but awareness of this dynamic profoundly shifts both your inner world and how others meet you.

So what does owning your failure look like, practically? How do you do this?

How to Own a Failure — A Practical Somatic Practice

Step 1: Sit in the Failure

Bring the failure into your mind’s eye.

• Locate it.

• Notice whether it feels inside your body, around you, or at a distance.

Now imagine stepping directly into it — and sitting smack bang right in the middle of it.

• Plonk yourself down within it - if that feels safe.

Notice what arises:

• Sensations, emotions, thoughts. 

• Embarrassment. Shame. Guilt. Discomfort.

• Allow it all to be present.

Important: It’s better to start with a small failure or mistake as a start - it will prevent you from feeling overwhelmed or overpowered. Do so in a space that you’re alone and feel safe, having full absolute privacy

Step 2: Let the Feelings Be Present

Just like the example from Salma Hayek - allow yourself to notice & say whatever wants to be said:

• “Shit, that was a mistake.”

• “Yeah, that wasn’t my best or proudest moment.”

• “Gosh… that’s embarrassing!”

• Or whatever comes up for you

  
  

Say it out loud, cry in despair, cover your face in embarrassment while you allow yourself to let this be present.

Allowing it to be present acknowledges that — Yes, this indeed happened - and it was not pleasant at all.

As you acknowledge it, it starts dismantling the power the situation, the dynamic, and the action could have over you. This dismantling is exactly where you retrieve the life force energy and take your power back.

Step 3: Reclaim the lesson & it's Power by feeling it

• While still sitting in the middle of it, notice - it might take a while if the failure or mistake at hand feels highly charged (a lot of emotions). So this might take more than one sitting.

• Somewhere along the way you’ll feel a shift. Where you’re able to regard it with some neutrality, and see the lesson, the knowledge , the medicine it brought. Allow yourself permission to feel this presence too. 

Most importantly, do not skip the part of feeling the failure, the embarrassment, the self disappointment. It is uncomfortable, and it might be scary, but it is key to this exercise & unlocking the potential, the gift your failure has brought you. Work in bits and pieces if you need to or reach out to a somatic/embodiment practitioner like myself if you need support. 

From Perfectionism to Self-Compassion

Doing this exercise will allow you to come to a point where you’re even able to start laughing about it.

As a person recovering from perfectionism & the belief I am my mistakes, I used to be extremely hard on myself. I used this exercise time and time again and still use it today. More and more I can openly and honestly admit my mistakes, an embarrassing moment and even have a good hearty laugh about it. This does not mean there aren't times where I still feel horrible and shrink after a grave mistake, but my laughs are more. I allow myself to be more human, and it’s improved the way I treat others. 

As you shift this dynamic, you’ll naturally start to attract people who are ore supportive an understanding when you do make a mistake, as they don't take themselves too seriously either. The off chance that you do find someone who is more rigid and uncompassionate - you’ll know that they in fact struggle with this same issue too. 

When to Seek Support

If fear of failure or perfectionism is deeply ingrained, you don’t have to work through it alone. Embodiment and somatic practices offer gentle, grounded ways to meet these patterns safely and effectively.

If you’d like support, you can book a free discovery call here, . This work is exactly where embodiment shines — I’d be honoured to hold space for you.